Celibacy . .
. "A Way to be Intimate"
- Fr. Stan Bosch, S.T., Parish
Our Lady of Victory Catholic Church
Compton, California
" Fr.
Stan Bosch
with two
young adults from his parish." |
As a bartender in college, I observed the selfish and careless ways people touch . . . "folks were looking for love in all the wrong places!" Later, as a probation counselor, I was asked to restrain young people who had been abandoned or touched violently and consequently, were touching others violently and desperately.
I came to believe that everyone needs affection, acceptance and love. If someone has not experienced this in his life, an empty hole is created inside, which screams out until it is filled, unfortunately for many ,that means grabbing, hoarding and sometimes smothering or touching others violently.
My sexuality, and subsequently my celibate living out of my sexuality, has everything to do with being generative and generous. It means giving life in all sorts of creative, imaginative and "Godly" ways. I am constantly invited to integrate my needs, feelings, and desires as a response to having been loved by Jesus who is love. I have come to see that I belong to another ... to Jesus. And I most profoundly desire to become an empty and open space for Him to fill. I experience celibate life as a preference of loves. I prefer to be most intimately touched and filled by the One who created me, and then begin to be a safe, honest and loving space for others, especially poor and abandoned people, who may not have ever experienced this kind of unconditional, intimate, real presence, that is honest, authentic, and respectful.
Many people believe the life of a priest or brother is filled with loneliness and isolation. That hasn’t been my experience. As a jail chaplain, and then a missionary in Mexico, and later with gang kids in Los Angeles, I could never have imagined that life would be so full, joyful, and exciting! In the midst of troublesome situations and difficult people, my life-giving friendships with some important fellow priest and religious, families, and woman have breathed God’s life into me. For me, my time alone with God and my close friends gives me life and energy to live in neglected places with abandoned people.
As a member of a religious community and a missionary family, (men and woman religious and priests, married or single) I live with others who are also called by God to serve in the missions. I have been challenged and stretched by my brother Trinity Missionaries. Living the radical gospel together forces me to listen, to see and to experience God in very different ways... as diverse as those with whom I live. Although I go to God directly in solitude, liturgy and prayer; community life and work also nourish my relationship with the Lord and give me energy to serve God and others.